A Birthday Without Cake

Recently we celebrated Aubrey's 6th birthday. Her birthday has always been a little tricky for me to navigate. It really is a hard thing to explain to her. Today is the day you were born 6 years ago. A year is 365 days. Being born means that you came from mommy's belly. Because that happened, we are going to have a party. Having a party means that we will invite your friends to play. It doesn't mean that every time your friends come, it's a party though. We will have cake and ice cream but it's not always your birthday when we have cake and ice cream. Everyone will buy you a gift. Gifts are things that one person gives to another person. You open gifts in front of everyone so they can see what you got. I can explain all of those things but there is no way for me to know if she actually understands or not. I get a blank stare and if I'm lucky, she will spell one of the words I have just uttered and she moves on with whatever she was previously doing. This is pretty much how it goes when I explain anything that isn't part of our daily activities.

This year I decided to throw the traditional idea of a kid's birthday out the window and to do it the way that made the most sense for Aubrey. Now, I think it's important for the other children in her class to have some sense of normalcy when it comes to what they expect with a birthday party. These are the same kids that she will basically be spending the next 13 years with so I want them be as accepting as possible and sometimes that takes a little extra work on my part. I came up with a two part plan.  First, we would host the End of Year celebration for the entire grade. That way all of the kids could have cake and ice cream and treats and all of the "extra" stuff that comes along with a birthday party. Aubrey wouldn't have to be the center of attention but they still associated the party with her because she sent out the invitations. Then, I would invite everyone to swim for her actual birthday which was only a month later. No cake, no opening gifts, no singing a song while Aubrey wonders what the heck is going on. Just all of her little buddies swimming around her. Of course I choose swimming because it's her favorite activity and she shines at it. It worked out wonderfully! It was the least stressful birthday party she has ever had! We will never go back to the crying while opening gifts and her trying to hide in a corner with her iPad because everyone is loud and overwhelming. It's her day so we will do it her way.