Brothers

On August 10, my youngest brother turned 20. How did that happen so fast? I talk a lot about Aubrey and my struggles with her but the truth is, I've had practice in dealing with tough situations long before Aubrey was born. I grew up in a very unstable home, to say the least. I lived with with my mother, step father and two younger brothers. I had a different father than they did. My step father was a raging alcoholic who went into manic fits almost on a daily basis. He was always yelling and creating some sort of emotional disturbance with everyone in the home. It was absolute chaos. My first brother, Tyler, was born when I was almost 5. He was the most handsome child I have ever seen. He was the family's pride and joy and could be seen out and about with his grandfather most days, sometimes taking a stroll around the town square our out in the field in the old pick up. When I was almost 11, Drew was born. Things were just getting really rough in the family when he came along and I have a heavy heart for baby being in the environment he was in. He was a little bright eyes red headed happy go lucky child though. Not a care in the world. When I was 15, enough was enough and I could stand the emotional and verbal abuse from step father no more. I moved in with my father and step mother. I would lie awake in bed at night and cry and cry and cry thinking about my brothers being in the house. I thought of how unfair it was that they still had to endure the late night arguements and screaming well after midnight. I felt guilty for leaving them but I knew I couldn't actually do anything, yet. Three weeks after I graduated high school I joined the Air Force. I wanted a better life for myself and I wanted to make something of myself. When I was 21, Tyler was on the verge of destruction. My step father had made him the next victim of the constant pushing and never ending abuse. I was only 21 and I didn't feel ready to step in, but I did. I took custody of Tyler and moved him to ND with me. I had no idea what I was doing or how to handle a teenage boy. I wanted to do everything so perfectly but ended up doing everything so terribly wrong. One thing was certain though, Tyler was safe and that's what really mattered. He could rest at night without being woken up abruptly to a screaming match in the next room. Tyler left ND and moved back to Mississippi after he finished high school. Things seemed to be going pretty smoothly. My mother eventually left my step father and Drew stayed with him. He had become very sick and I think Drew felt bad for him. While I was pregnant with Aubrey, I began to realize things were not actually going so well for Drew. Since I was pregnant, I was in the county and not oversees or on some whirlwind training mission across the Pacific. I got to talk to Drew more he he began to open up about what was really going on. He had been working all summer and his dad was taking his money and wanted to control every move Drew made. I knew what would be coming soon enough.... and I knew I couldn't let Drew go through the same things Tyler and I had. When Seth and I moved to Mississippi, Drew started staying with us a lot. It was tough because Aubrey was in and out of the hospital. When I got the job offer in Las Vegas, there was no way I was leaving Drew there with his father, no way. I hired an attorney and got custody. A few years later, my step father died. He had essentially drank himself to death. The boys made their peace before he passed away and for that I was thankful. I told them both not to feel an ounce of guilt because death does not change what a person did while they were alive. 

Today, both boys are happy and healthy. Tyler is living in Nashville with his girlfriend and has a great job. Drew is going into his third year of college and majoring in economics and working almost full time. I think both boys are a true testament that you can rise above your upbringings. They both had a rough ride but have beat the odds and are thriving in life. Not a day goes by that I don't wish them both all the happiness in the world.