Aubrey walked the halls as a student of Divide County Elementary for the last time two months ago. It has taken me two months to gather my thoughts and feelings about that moment. After two months in our new home of Grand Forks, this is what I think about it. We love Crosby. We love Divide County. I will always be so extremely grateful for the community that surrounded us with love and support for 7 years. The community that lifted Aubrey up on a pedestal and taught her that her differenes are so special and how much she can contribute to this world. I will forever be thankful for the support I had as I grew into a strong advocate for Aubrey and the unbelievable love I was shown through the many years I struggled to have Alexander. There is nothing that can ever replace those years, those friendships or that place of comfort that will likely always be where we claim as "home".
We have moved to Grand Forks, North Dakota where I am attending Law School at the University of North Dakota. We still have our house in Crosby and Seth is still living there, working in Tioga and making the trip back and forth from Crosby to Grand Forks on his days off. The question is, why did we do that. Why did I uproot everything that was so comfortable, so seemingly perfect, to start all over somewhere else. The answer is, it was time.
Imagine the biggest dreams you have ever had in your life. Big, big dreams. The kind of dreams that put a smile on your face and make your heart happy if you could ever achieve one. No, being an attorney is not that thought that puts that smile on my face or my ultimate life goal. Having Aubrey live in some sort of independent living situation as an adult does though. Her own little Crosby, full of people just like her. Being an attorney is just one step on the path that is going to help me get her there. Moving to Grand Forks is part of a bigger plan.
Aubrey is in 6th grade this year. Her class in Divide County will be moving to Junior High next year. The class that has had her back, seen her grow and cared for her like only children can, will start going in a different direction than Aubrey next year. They will change classes, play sports, and esentially start growing up. It was time for Aubrey to be a part of something different instead of being left behind in a mainstream setting, which was inevitable. Aubrey is now in Middle School, in an autism only classroom. She has 4 children in her class. She has life skills classes, adaptive P.E., and a para whom she already has wrapped around her finger. She is thriving. I know she misses her friends from home, but now everything is on her level and sometimes being similar instead of different is not a bad thing. Aubrey will complete Middle School in Grand Forks. She will attend the same school, have the same lunch room, and love the same zip line on the playground for the next 3 years.
Alexander is going to daycare at the YMCA (a.k.a. Big Boy School, as he calls it). It has been awesome and he will start swim lessons soon. He will likely stay there until he starts kindergarten, in 3 years.
Law school takes 3 years to complete. All first year law students take the same classes, so there is no focus area for now. Get for real though, I know deep down what I want to do. I want to love what I do. I've seen the impact an attorney can make. I have seen what it is like when an attorney is passonite about her work and commits to giving her clients 110%. I know my path will be different, but I want to take the fearlessness I have seen Liz exhibit with me and make my own path in the law. At the end of my 3 years of school, I want to take on the world, while keeping that big dream in mind. At that point, Aubrey will be 14 years old, which still gives me a few years to make sure she is set up for the best possible situation once she graduates and nears adulthood.
No matter if we have to be in a metropolitan area which has the type communities I envision for Aubrey or I have to build our own adult autism independent community in North Dakota, I believe this is the path I have to take to get me there. Grand Forks is a step along the way, a way to set Aubrey on the best path forward. Big dreams take time to achieve. I have a lot to accomplish between now and then, there may be set backs along the way, and a few things are sure to change, but as to why law school, and why now - because it time to get started, I have a lot to get done.
