He finished seeding on Friday, we went to golf course for lunch on Saturday and he visited with Janae on Sunday. He made his rounds and then he left us. One very uplifting thought I have had since that day is, Ray has more grandchildren in heaven than he did on earth. He has 8 grandchildren to tell stories to, read books, and go for Ranger rides. For the first time in ever, there is sense to why Seth and I went through 6 devastating loses ourselves - to give Ray a giant family in heaven, just as he had on earth. He can love and teach and sort bolts with them now.
A story that I often liked to remind Ray of was when Aubrey was born. I didn't remind him of the emotional stuff, just the fact that he thought he was going to miss her birth. That it was not that big of a deal and that he'd see her later. Also, after I learned more about farming and haying, I would ask him what the hell he was so busy doing on June 27 anyway. That is prime time between seeding and haying. Literally, your least busy week from May until October. I know what it was though, he didn't know yet what it was going to be like to be a grandfather. He hadn't felt the love for a grandchild yet and he didn't understand how his life was about to change. It's not that he didn't care or that he had better things to do, he just didn't know what this grandparent thing was all about. Aubrey was, as she always does, about to change his understanding though.
Aubrey was born at 2:19 am. Her APGAR score (a summary of the likelihood of survival) was only 1 immediately after birth. Her life was fragile. Jeanie called Ray and told him that he better be on his was to Grand Forks. He got out of bed at 2:30 in the morning and drove 5 hours to Grand Forks. At this point I knew Ray, but I didn't really know Ray. Seth and I had been together for a year and had been married for 5 months. We had lived in Grand Forks and only visited his parents for holidays and what not. I mean I knew them, but there was no real bond there. Aubrey fought for her life over the next few hours and we waited patiently. I can vividly remember this waiting room along one of the hallways and Seth and I met with the NICU doctor there to discuss transporting Aubrey to a different location or if we should keep her in Grand Forks. I remember walking out of that waiting room and Ray was standing there and he just took Seth and I in his arms and held us so tight to his chest and told us that he loved us and that this was going to be okay. I burst into tears and soaked up his love and that hug that I needed so badly. It was a turning point. He was a grandpa and he felt it and he had to protect the situation and us. Little Aubrey made it through and although it took him several more years to be cool with babysitting her, he loved her like no other. He loved to lecture me about her not wearing pants, shoes or whatever other clothing she had decided to forego on any given day. He loved to take her on tractor rides, ask her if she saw certain things out the window and tell her to jump 10 times for fun. His favorite line to her was when he would ask her a more complicated question and he would search her eyes to see if he thought she understood. He would always say, "You know, girl, don't ya. I know you do." He loved her and he knew that she loved him.
By the time Alexander came along, Ray was had more than figured out this grandparent thing. He had a shadow with Alexander, a little "Mini Ming", but he was never going to forget that it was Aubrey who gave him the title. It was Aubrey who made him get out of that bed at 2:30 in the morning to drive to Grand Forks to see just what it meant to be a Papa. We will miss him dearly and Seth and I will have a long road to recovery from his death, but it is nice to know that all of our other children, the ones we haven't met, are keeping him busy and on his toes in the Great Unknown. We love you Ray, may you rest in peace.
