Growing up in a small town in the south, I saw things that most people only still exist in the movies. I knew of segregation like it was still the 1930s in America. By segregation I do not only mean segregation by race, I mean segregation by many different ways. Race, class, and abilities were all separated in a small town like Holly Springs. Of course, since it's the south, many people seem to focus on only race but now that I have a special needs child, I see that when I was growing up, segregation is much more than just about race.
The day before Christmas Eve, a tornado hit Holly Springs. It is reported that the F-4 tornado was on land for approximately 132 miles. That's a lot of damage, to a lot of people, two days before Christmas. See the thing about a natural disaster is that you are not spared based on race, class, or abilities. When a tornado is on land for 132 miles, you'd better believe it's going to damage the wealthy, the poor, the white, the black, the healthy and the disabled.
I have had a lot of friends on social media posting pictures and comments about the disaster. Each and everyone are heartbreaking to see. I have heard from my family that utility crews have worked around the clock to restore power over the past week and that the town has pulled together in this time of need to help each other despite the segregation that is common in the community.
There is one story that I cannot help but to have on my mind daily since the disaster. When I was growing up in Holly Springs, I didn't know anyone that was special needs. I didn't understand the difference in private and public school systems and I didn't know that I was completely blind to the reality of what families go through when they have a child who has needs that are outside the scope of what can be provided in a private institution. Through social media, I have learned that there is, in fact, a whole different side to my little town of Holly Springs. One that, without the power of those social connections online, I would have never known. There is a little boy in Holly Springs who is autistic and non-verbal like Aubrey. Everyone calls him Boo. His mother, Linda, has an in-home daycare. I am certain that, just like myself, Linda's schedule must revolve around Boo. Boo is several years older than Aubrey so I find myself looking to Linda's post about Boo to catch a glimpse of what could be in store for Aubrey's future as a non-verbal child. I know that no two children are alike but I can't help but to follow Boo's journey. Two weeks ago, Linda posted a video of Boo in speech therapy. She was absolutely ecstatic because Boo said "Ma" as in Moma for the first time. I have repeatedly watched the video and cry every single time. She was so proud of him and the smile on his face clearly shows him acknowledging his accomplishment. One week after witnessing an amazing accomplishment, I was devastated to see the post of the weather that was striking Holly Springs and Boo. At the time, Linda had five additional children in her care in her home. My heart sank thinking about the confusion and distress that Boo must have been experiencing. I could imagine myself trying to calm Aubrey in such a horrific disaster. I know how stressful a trip to the grocery store can be for an autistic child and now here this mother was with her special needs child and children that she is responsible for in that moment. The sheer adrenaline that Linda must have felt would be overwhelming to most. The tornado did damage to their home, they had no power but luckily there were no injuries. I have watched for post from Linda over the past week and even though her life has been turned completely upside down, she remains positive. They stayed in a hotel briefly but have returned home now. Being in a home with no power, or internet for that matter, with an autistic child is only something a strong woman could handle. That might seem insignificant compared to everything else that happened to people in Holly Springs but for one second imagine you having a child, in the aftermath of a tornado. You want to know his thoughts, feelings, understanding of the situation because it's extremely traumatic for anyone. He can't tell you those things though. I would be concerned that Aubrey worried about her friends from school or that her grandma was safe. I know she would never explain all of those thoughts or fears on her talker, yet she would still have those them. I am grateful that Linda and Boo are okay but my heart is still broken for the damage and confusion that they have gone through and will continue to work out.
I am encouraged to see that the little town of Holly Springs has put all of the segregation, that I knew growing up, behind it and is moving on to a modern day mentality. I see all of the support that Linda and Boo are receiving on Face Book and I see her post on everyone that is helping her out. I also love how grateful Linda is for the community she is in. She is surrounded by support and love and in return she is able to be a great and strong mom for Boo.
For more information on how you can help the town of Holly Springs, please see the links below.
https://www.facebook.com/MarshallCountyHollySpringsDisasterReliefEffort/?fref=nf
https://www.gofundme.com/8ug6vjxm
https://operationbbqrelief.org/
https://www.gofundme.com/u3g6xfw4
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
Happy Holidays!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Nygaards!
This year has been full of ups, downs and everything in between for us. It certainly has been a journey and we have embraced every moment of it.
We started the year off with a new puppy, Sophie. She was our first family pet and she just made herself right at home and never lets Aubrey out of her sight. They spent many, many hours of early Spring on the play set in our back yard. They just became the best of buddies. Aubrey continued with gymnastics and had her first exhibition in late March. We quickly learned that she is quite the showman. As the snow started to melt, Aubrey found herself back in her favorite place in the world, the giant mud puddle that forms in our driveway. Wait for mom to turn her back, take off running, jump in the mud, eat the mud, dunk head under water into mud, get in trouble, shower, repeat - over and over and over again. We also enjoyed visiting the dinosaur exhibit in Minot in April and Aubrey's first birthday party for a classmate. By the time Summer rolled around, Aubrey had mastered her new communication device and was beginning to express her thoughts and feelings with ease. Her frustrations of being non-verbal started to ease and we were finally able to have a better understanding of her daily thoughts.
Seth ran the Fargo Half Marathon again in May where he ran in the top 10% for his age. He continues to impress with his dedication to being physically fit.
Seeding started in May and we helped Ray with that and started gearing up for a busy Summer.
Aubrey finished Kindergarten and hosted the end of year school party at the indoor water park in Williston where got to hang out with all of her friends at the pool. She was the happiest girl alive with her friends and in the water at the same time. We later celebrated her birthday at the community pool in Crosby with a few close friends. Also in June, Aubrey met Mac. Mac is the horse that Aubrey has fallen in love with and gets to ride once a week, every week while the weather is cooperative.
I took the entire summer off from work to be home with Aubrey and to farm with Ray. We spent most days of June and July playing outside, going for walks and playing spelling games. Aubrey attended Summer School for one hour each morning to ensure she stayed familiar with the school environment. I started my blog during this time to help find a creative outlet for myself and have found it to serve much more purpose than just me expressing my thoughts. I have thousands of readers in over ten countries. I love knowing that my experiences with Aubrey are enjoyed and helpful to so many.
In late July, Aubrey and I took an epic road trip down to Mississippi to visit my family. We made it in two days and it took me two days to convince her to get back into my vehicle. A road trip, alone, with an autistic six year old was quite the experience, to say the least. We sang the same Dora song about 999 times and she ate way too many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We visited family in Holly Springs for a few days and then Seth flew down and we made our way to Orange Beach, Alabama. We stayed for a full week and were joined by my mom, Drew, my grandmother, and great aunt the first few days and then my dad and Marsha the last few days. We had a blast! We did everything from parasailing to laser tag to visiting the infamous Florabama with a lot a swimming from daybreak to sunset. It was an absolutely amazing family vacation. On the way home, we stopped in Nashville to see Tyler and catch up with him over dinner.
As soon as we returned home, harvest started. Aubrey and I spent the beginning driving grain trucks up to Crosby. Eventually, Ray got all three combines online and I spent the next month combining wheat and durum and learning the ins and outs of all things required to farm full time. Aubrey spent a lot of time with Grandma Jeanie and Jeanie certainly had her work cut out trying to keep up with her.
Aubrey started First Grade in August and again is in a mainstream classroom with a full time aide. She transitioned fairly quickly back into her routine and just as quickly let us know that she had advanced well beyond some First Grade subjects and would need to be moved up to Second Grade spelling. She has also taken an interest in science and has demanded that she be allowed to study the subject every day of the week and not just two days a week, as her class does.
Our nephew, Bryce (Tyler's son), came to visit for a night at the end of August and we had a jammed packed two days of fun! He has grown so much over the past year and is so full of life and joy. He is now living just outside of Scranton, Pennsylvania with his mom who is a RN at the hospital there.
As harvest wrapped up in early September, I went back to work at the law office in Crosby. I had to make a few adjustments when I returned as the job as a full time Oil and Gas Paralegal was not existent anymore with the sharp decline in the oil industry in Western North Dakota. I have been able to keep busy with assisting in title corrective, land transactions, and family law though.
Seth continues to work for Hess at their gas plant in Tioga, ND. Hess has proven to be a great company to work for and he still enjoys his work very much.
Drew is entering his junior year at Ole Miss in Oxford, Mississippi where he is majoring in accounting. He ended the semester with four As and one B. He has been working for JCG Apparel in Oxford for the past year and half and they are generous enough to completely work around his school schedule.
We are now on Christmas break and will be spending Christmas with Seth's family. We want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and hope you are filled with joy and peace this holiday season.
This year has been full of ups, downs and everything in between for us. It certainly has been a journey and we have embraced every moment of it.
We started the year off with a new puppy, Sophie. She was our first family pet and she just made herself right at home and never lets Aubrey out of her sight. They spent many, many hours of early Spring on the play set in our back yard. They just became the best of buddies. Aubrey continued with gymnastics and had her first exhibition in late March. We quickly learned that she is quite the showman. As the snow started to melt, Aubrey found herself back in her favorite place in the world, the giant mud puddle that forms in our driveway. Wait for mom to turn her back, take off running, jump in the mud, eat the mud, dunk head under water into mud, get in trouble, shower, repeat - over and over and over again. We also enjoyed visiting the dinosaur exhibit in Minot in April and Aubrey's first birthday party for a classmate. By the time Summer rolled around, Aubrey had mastered her new communication device and was beginning to express her thoughts and feelings with ease. Her frustrations of being non-verbal started to ease and we were finally able to have a better understanding of her daily thoughts.
Seth ran the Fargo Half Marathon again in May where he ran in the top 10% for his age. He continues to impress with his dedication to being physically fit.
Seeding started in May and we helped Ray with that and started gearing up for a busy Summer.
Aubrey finished Kindergarten and hosted the end of year school party at the indoor water park in Williston where got to hang out with all of her friends at the pool. She was the happiest girl alive with her friends and in the water at the same time. We later celebrated her birthday at the community pool in Crosby with a few close friends. Also in June, Aubrey met Mac. Mac is the horse that Aubrey has fallen in love with and gets to ride once a week, every week while the weather is cooperative.
I took the entire summer off from work to be home with Aubrey and to farm with Ray. We spent most days of June and July playing outside, going for walks and playing spelling games. Aubrey attended Summer School for one hour each morning to ensure she stayed familiar with the school environment. I started my blog during this time to help find a creative outlet for myself and have found it to serve much more purpose than just me expressing my thoughts. I have thousands of readers in over ten countries. I love knowing that my experiences with Aubrey are enjoyed and helpful to so many.
In late July, Aubrey and I took an epic road trip down to Mississippi to visit my family. We made it in two days and it took me two days to convince her to get back into my vehicle. A road trip, alone, with an autistic six year old was quite the experience, to say the least. We sang the same Dora song about 999 times and she ate way too many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We visited family in Holly Springs for a few days and then Seth flew down and we made our way to Orange Beach, Alabama. We stayed for a full week and were joined by my mom, Drew, my grandmother, and great aunt the first few days and then my dad and Marsha the last few days. We had a blast! We did everything from parasailing to laser tag to visiting the infamous Florabama with a lot a swimming from daybreak to sunset. It was an absolutely amazing family vacation. On the way home, we stopped in Nashville to see Tyler and catch up with him over dinner.
As soon as we returned home, harvest started. Aubrey and I spent the beginning driving grain trucks up to Crosby. Eventually, Ray got all three combines online and I spent the next month combining wheat and durum and learning the ins and outs of all things required to farm full time. Aubrey spent a lot of time with Grandma Jeanie and Jeanie certainly had her work cut out trying to keep up with her.
Aubrey started First Grade in August and again is in a mainstream classroom with a full time aide. She transitioned fairly quickly back into her routine and just as quickly let us know that she had advanced well beyond some First Grade subjects and would need to be moved up to Second Grade spelling. She has also taken an interest in science and has demanded that she be allowed to study the subject every day of the week and not just two days a week, as her class does.
Our nephew, Bryce (Tyler's son), came to visit for a night at the end of August and we had a jammed packed two days of fun! He has grown so much over the past year and is so full of life and joy. He is now living just outside of Scranton, Pennsylvania with his mom who is a RN at the hospital there.
As harvest wrapped up in early September, I went back to work at the law office in Crosby. I had to make a few adjustments when I returned as the job as a full time Oil and Gas Paralegal was not existent anymore with the sharp decline in the oil industry in Western North Dakota. I have been able to keep busy with assisting in title corrective, land transactions, and family law though.
Seth continues to work for Hess at their gas plant in Tioga, ND. Hess has proven to be a great company to work for and he still enjoys his work very much.
Drew is entering his junior year at Ole Miss in Oxford, Mississippi where he is majoring in accounting. He ended the semester with four As and one B. He has been working for JCG Apparel in Oxford for the past year and half and they are generous enough to completely work around his school schedule.
We are now on Christmas break and will be spending Christmas with Seth's family. We want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and hope you are filled with joy and peace this holiday season.
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